the sliding filament theory... debunked!

michelle h mp3 hosted by www.clickcaster.com

birthday song for my little sister michelle from june. she's young so of course that means i had to make it sound like the end of the world. and she loves shoes. we used to sit around with that 20questions electronic ball that seems to know everything. someone suggested to try "colostomy bag" which did stump it though it gave the respectable solution "diaper". think that pretty much sets it up. oh, and everyone go to freddy's frozen custard... their burgers and fries are delectable.

michelle h's song (mp3)

i can't believe that you're turning twenty-six
that's a third of the way to floating down the river styx
we can all see your gray hairs are turning white
and when you close your eyes you can see the tunnel of light
but it will be all right, it will be all right

so when you're out shopping for your thirty birthday shoes
and purses sporting dooney, bourke, coach, louis, and kors
be careful that your walker doesn't snag your portable iv
ask 20q what punctured? he'll say bag of colostomy
and it was full of pee, it was full of pee

so have a happy birthday
i hope that it goes well
have a happy birthday
our little michelle
have a happy birthday
please do not feel sad
just because you're older
isn't really all that bad

senile dementia and alzheimer's the diagnosis
you're one step closer to menopause and osteoporosis
but although another year has come and it has gone
just be glad that you are not nearly as old as sean
'cause he hasn't got long, no he hasn't got long
happy birthday

cara song

cara mp3 hosted by www.clickcaster.com

last one today... more refuge stuff from a few weeks back. tried to create a song that is half typical love song cliches and half whatever the opposite of that would be. if you listen (not so) carefully you can hear tate bark halfway through. here it goes.

cara song (mp3)

and when she's there
you'll feel complete
so chic and debonair
audrey hepburn could not beat

and when she smiles
your heart will melt
her skin is as soft
as a freshly slaughtered mink's pelt

and when she laughs
your spirits will lift
her hair extension color choice
is not a knack it's a gift

but if she cries
you must hold her near
one look in those brown eyes
could turn a straight girl queer

and when she sings
life's troubles seem okay
it's aac
not getting that gta

and if she'll dance
you'll feel true bliss
all around are entranced
infused with life like sleeping beauty's kiss

and she has friends
with androgynously named roommates
but even they
can't stop her from microwaving plastic plates

and when she does marry
many a man's hopes will be fraught
she makes halle berry
look like a pile of snot

kevin song

kevin mp3 hosted by www.clickcaster.com

song made the night before kevin left for the air force. he played the drums and was an auto mechanic and a master of win lose or draw. that's probably all you need to know to enjoy this one.

kevin song (mp3)

you have pummeled us in football
and in eating contests too
you looked real hot in pink
and in your christmas muumuu
when you're drawing baseball
you giggle like a chick
but if you do that in the air force
they will drop you like a brick

you beat the skins like custer
'til he blew his little [big] horn
and you diagnosed my chevy
when the ac belt was worn
you shake our cars with glass packs
and wear your cuffs out on your sleeves
hey now wait a minute
you're a quarter japanese?

oh little kevin
i miss you already
yes it's true
but someone's gotta save the world
from al-qaeda
koala bears and kangaroos
oh kevin i can't believe you're gone
it seems like only yesterday
that i wrote you this song
oh wait that was today

what's the deal with these short high pitched songs?

i think the whole thing came about in tulsa when i made a song for tony asking john walls (the anchor at ch. 2) to ask tony to go to the zoo with me. i liked that the worst software you could use to put songs on a computer (windows sound recorder) initially limits you to 60 seconds of recording time. i also enjoyed recording on the worst medium i could find and so i recorded in mono in one take on a digital voice recorder. i'm pretty sure it's illegal to not play back voice recorders in high speed so that's where that came from. plus my attention span is so short 60 seconds is about all i can take before my mind wanders.

melissa song

melissa mp3 hosted by www.clickcaster.com

this song is the 10th in the refuge series and is about melissa. i didn't have a pick so i tore a listerine breath strip package in two and used that to play with. then i listened to it 84 times in a row.

melissa song (mp3)

oh little melissa
you're not just sarah's baby sister
you're a silly special way smart beauty
what a rad ol' chick
and in everything that i do
i try my best to emulate you
but i always fail
'cause in comparison i pale

oh little melissa
when you're in okc we miss ya
so quit that rewarding job
those kids can make it on their own
you can stay home with your parents
saving money on food and rent
until you're dr. meeks
and you can cure those kids' disease